The Importance of How Social Media Impacts Individual’s Romantic Relationship

          Social media has been used in the past years at such a growing pace. Since the late 1990’s social media has been used to connect with others around the world, has made sharing our lives with family and friends easier, as well as to become well-rounded individuals with the events happening all around the world. Social media has played a big role in our lives since it has developed and it still does. Today social media has dominated many aspects of our daily lives, including our romantic relationships.

Social media today can be used by absolutely anyone, anyone at any age can be active social media users, throughout the years many individuals have become addicted to these social media platforms. We keep up with each other’s lives through these platforms and this has caused some type of impacts with ourselves and even an impact in our romantic relationships.A research scientist Clarissa Silva, found a correlation with social media and individual’s romantic relationships, Dr. Silva states that, social media creates this atmosphere of constantly comparing each other, especially our lives, our looks, and even what we eat, etc. these comparisons then lead to us to post more and become more active users as well, to feel as if we’re not missing out. Becoming active on social media leads individuals to physically interact less, Dr.Silva states that social media interaction then becomes a normal interaction for many, leading to only wanting social popularity, social engagement and social capital. Spending too much time on social media also causes individuals to mask their true person, we begin to act as a different person on social media then the person we are in real life. These issues lead to people dating only for social media as well as manipulating individuals easily especially if their interaction is mostly through social media.

 Researchers Amanda Lenhart, Monica Anderson, and Aaron Smith conducted a study on the effects of social media on romantic relationships, they state that individuals in relationships view social media as a space where they can feel connected to the daily lives of their significant others, as well as it allows them to share emotional connections, and let their significant others that they care about them. Even though social media does influence these aspects of a relationship, there are also other factors that were found in this study that affects a relationship, such as jealousy and uncertainty, these individuals have stated that social media has impacted their romantic relationships whether it is positive or negative, in a minor way.

 In my perspective, I believe that social media has a strong impact in romantic relationships, an impact where it begins with one’s self. I believe that the impact is certainly negative and that it stems from an internal conflict with an individual and social media, this self to self conflict then leads to a number of issues in their romantic relationship.   

In Dr. Silva’s research, it is definitely established that social media is linked to envy, loneliness, depression, etc. now the goal of Dr. Silva was to figure out the correlation with an individual’s romantic relationships and how this process begins with yourself and ends up in your relationship. A study was conducted, where adults were interviewed by Dr. Silva, these adults were of both genders and were active media users. After this in-depth interview was conducted, three statements were made and the percentages of these individuals were given, “60% of people using social media reported that it has impacted their self-esteem in a negative way”, “50% reported social media having negative effects on their relationships”,  and “80% reported that is easier to deceive others through their social posting” (Silva). The information that stands out from these results is that these three statements that were gathered after the interview were all negative towards social media and its relation one’s self and to relationships, as well as, the lowest percentage score was 50%, which means that most of these individuals strongly believe that social media affects them in a negative way. With these results, Dr. Silva came to the conclusion that social media is changing our ways to interact with one another and this is one of the causes that lead to such a negative impact on relationships, “Posting dinners, selfies, and vacay photos over human interaction for some are interaction. That IS their interaction. The paradox effect in dating is creating the illusion of having more social engagement, social capital, and popularity, but masking one’s true persona… The one you portray on your networks and the true you, for some reason, creates a double consciousness. Your lauded self on social media is constantly seeking more validation through electronic likes, not life” (Silva). Basically, she is stating that with social media, our form of interaction has changed for some individuals, and how for some individuals media interaction has substituted with physical interactions with other people. Also, from being active on social media so much, you tend to act like a different person on social media than in person, this can give you the ability to easily manipulate someone else, especially if they spend more time interacting through social media. Social media use can also lead to individuals seeking validation through likes and interactions when in reality, this makes it difficult for an individual to accept rejection in real life. Later this issue causes individuals to do things in real life just for social media, to gain popularity and to be likeably, this can also lead people to date just for social media, to give some type of “show” to others.

In the research Amanda Lenhart, Monica Anderson, and Aaron Smith conducted they were some interesting findings. These researchers also conducted an interview-like experiment and came to the conclusion that either way if social media has had any type of impact on these individuals’ relationships, it also has brought other outcomes with it as well. “Photos and posts can be used by teens to incite jealousy in others, often former partners, and lead to jealous feelings for some teens… It depends on like what they’re doing in the picture. If they’re just standing side by side, it’s like, chill. But if they’re like … if he’s got his arm on her or something, like, more. … Like I guess it just depends on your jealousy level if you can feel like, ‘oh, I know my man wants me.’ Or if you’re like ‘does he really want me?’ It just depends on the person” (Lenhart, Anderson, Smith). Basically, even though these individuals believe that social media helps their relationships and make them feel more connected to their partners, these social medias can be problematic or bring issues into a relationship, depending on certain publications.

I will agree with Dr. Silva’s findings and her explanation on social media and how it impacts romantic relationships. I believe that the impact of social media on a romantic relationship can be negative rather than positive. There are positives but I believe that the negative outweighs the positive aspects and therefore, I will be agreeing with Dr. Silva completely. The issues with social media with romantic relationships is that social media is world where you can choose what you want to be. Everyone has this option, I believe it can also be a hiding place for many who are socially awkward as well as lonely in real life, with this being said, social media is a huge virtual world that gives individuals the opportunity to be who they want to be. It seems as if everyone was to be the same person, they want to portray themselves as someone who is enjoying life, who gets along with everyone, who travels, who has the perfect love life, someone liked by many. This mindset stems from comparisons, comparing yourself to others people’s lives and their highlights to yours. This is exactly the fact as to why we act one way off social media and another in real life. These characteristics do fool an individual who is just meeting you online through these platforms. Being on social media so much causes you to seek validation from others, individuals struggle to fit in a certain in real life, social media gives them the opportunity to become someone who they are not, and individuals will take the chance in order to be liked by many. This self-seeking validation as well as the world of social media makes it harder for individuals to deal with the ugly, detachment, a negative comment with their partner, or a break up with their significant other. Social media creates this world where you can be who you want and where you can create this perfect world, but it distracts you and later individuals have a harder time accepting what real life has for them.

Others may believe that social media does the opposite, that it has a positive impact on romantic relationships because you can speak with your significant other whenever you want or because it is easier to communicate that way, but I believe otherwise, since social media allows you to be who you want and act however you’d want to act, it also enforces complicated aspects of a relationship. Such as jealous, researchers Lenhart, Anderson, and Smith, had a participate in their study stating that sometimes social media can be used to incite jealousy in relationships, they stated how if “depends on like what they’re doing in the picture” (Lenhart,Anderson,Smith), these types of situations where individuals would have to analyze social media comments, texts, and even a picture, makes a relationships more complicated than what it already is in real life.

 I do not want to instruct other couples or individuals with relationship experience to completely get rid of their social media, I understand that’s the way we connect and communicate with one another today, but I do want it to be clear the negative impacts that social media can have in an individual’s relationships due to the fact that they get carried away with the attention, the popularity, and some social engagement. But it is important to prioritize our interactions outside of social media as much as we can, humans are very social, and social media will never measure up to the physical social interaction we experience with one another, especially with a significant other. Next time, you notice spending hours dming your significant other on social media, stop yourself and invite them on a date instead.